When Conversations turn Gray.
it is in your freewill to defy it.
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THE MODERN HIDALGO: Entry_078.
Written: Monday. January 27, 2020.
It’s been a week again since my last entry. I’ve been doing that for quite some weeks now. It’s time to get back to doing this thing on a daily basis.
A few things I need to do in order to get myself back on track are the following:
The Omnivault’s Writing Day will be pushed to Saturday. That way, I could get to write a single journal entry for five straight days, instead of the previous four-day streak, then writing a chapter on Friday, and then going back to writing a journal entry for Saturday. It’s gonna allow that sort of snowball-effect to come into play. Keep the ball rolling, as they say. I think.
I need to get back to exercising. I’ve reduced my daily routines for the past two weeks. The workout sessions needed to be removed cause my back didn’t feel well. But that was for the first week of rest. The second week, I wasn’t feeling motivated on working out. This week(technically, I didn’t get to workout today, so…), I’m going to start working out again. I wanna do more of the morning walks, though. I need to exercise my legs more, just in the general sense. But also because Big Bad Wolf 2020 is just a few weeks away. And if I’m planning to do a 24-hour stay inside of the event, then I better get my legs ready for it.
I feel like I’ve said it before, but I’m just gonna say it again for emphasis:
This journal is for me to get better at writing. Writing for the sake of writing is, I think, the most essential thing for a writer to do in order for them to not just be able to produce so many works, but also to feel free of just doing it all the time. That way, once writers need to produce a piece of work, they won’t have a hard time doing so.
My friend David and I went to see each other last Friday. He invited me for a dinner hangout at Gateway, Cubao. It was very last minute. But surprisingly, I was able to go out. My willpower was strong that day. Sort of a “Yes Theory” moment, where I chose to just ‘fuck it’ and discover where my actions would bring me.
David paid for the dinner. We ate at Taco Bell, which was the only decent place that had electric sockets available for customers. Then we went to a cafe which I can’t even remember the name of. We spent the night sharing stories with each other. Catching up on all of the latest things. David sort of went the “reality” route on the conversation, asking me what it is that I have in store for my future, since I’m done with college and all that.
The conversation went not so cool, on my opinion. I felt like I was being grilled to answer questions I wasn’t prepared to answer. Though, I did give answers. They just weren’t answers he expected to hear. The questions were bait for digging my own grave. Meaning, I was bound to lose whatever argument was currently taking place in the conversation.
The thing is, I’m the kind of guy that just wants to catch up with a friend. I have agendas, sometimes, but recently, I’ve just been trying to enjoy my time with people who want to meet up with me to hang out, and not really have to get deep into what they’re currently working on. Or if I am going to do that, I’m not gonna grill them on questions like how are they gonna pull that off or how are they gonna profit off of what they wanna do.
Cause to me, I guess as of right now, my mind just tells me that I should enjoy what I have, and not really worry about what I still don’t have. Like, make use of what I have at my disposal, cause in reality, I have a lot in my plate, and looking for more things is the exact reason that brought me to where I currently am.
So my mind is telling me this: “You need to learn to appreciate what you have, what is given to you, or what you’ve given to yourself. You don’t have to see to it that you fulfill the expectations of others. Fulfill the expectations you have for yourself. Fulfill the things the younger version of yourself wanted for your life. That’s the mission. That is your goal in life. You can worry about getting all that fancy stuff later. Right now, you have a lot of stuff already. Make use of your time, and enjoy those things for now, and worry about everything else later.”
Seems rather selfish, but I don’t give a damn. A lot of people will definitely disagree with me, and tell me to square up and act my age. Well guess what? You can fight off those conversations, just like I am right now. You can choose not to listen to others, and listen to yourself for once. A lot of people forget that they are their own person.
I can literally just get out of my house right now and roam around the streets, taking in the fresh air of the outside, and just worry about nothing within that time that I’m outside.
I am in complete control of what I want to do with my life, just as much as you have complete control over yours.
A lot of people just can’t get it in their heads that they can definitely turn their lives around in a heartbeat.
So enough of that. Time for something I came up with a few nights ago. This actually happened the night after Friday.
I was able to come up with a potential spin-off for The Omnivault. It’ll be centered around a frog named Macrodon. Macrodon is a new character in the story. I didn’t know at first what he was for. He was just sort of out of the blue(as with everything I’ve written so far in The Omnivault). But right now I know what to do with him.
It’s gonna be exciting. It’s totally gonna look like I stole the idea from Chrono Trigger, but not really. Well, technically, yes. But Chrono Trigger is just the framework of Macrodon’s character.
It doesn’t make sense here. But it might if you decide to start reading The Omnivault, a story I’ve been writing for about 23 weeks now.
