How silly of me.

THE MODERN HIDALGO: Entry_054.
Written: Tuesday. October 15, 2019.

I haven’t been quite adding a new entry to my journal as of late, again. I don’t know. It seems like it’s getting a bit harder each time for me to come up with something to say. I could always just talk about what happened the whole day, but some days just aren’t that interesting to talk about. Not much is happening to me these days. There hasn’t been any new extra-curricular rackets from my friend Kurt in a while. I’m still focusing on my “graduation roadblock” thing. And I’ve been having this weird migraine for days now.

It’s been in and out of my system since last week or so. But right now, it’s been like two days that my head is just hurting right now, and I don’t know why it’s happening, especially at such a young age. I’m only 21, guys. There’s no clear reason why this thing is happening to me. I’ve quit eating junk food as a new-year’s resolution. I’ve been exercising on a regular basis.

But yesterday, my head started to hurt. This was after I had exercised. I did do like three happy sessions (take that for how you interpret it) within the day, as well. So I guess that’s one reason that could’ve brought me to a point where my head ached. But I’ve done that many times before within a day. Sometimes even more times (again, take it for how you interpret it). But this sort of head-ache has never happened to me.

And I haven’t even done it yet, today. I didn’t exercise. I didn’t do a happy session. But the migraine is still there.

Why?

What the hell is happening to me? If this shit doesn’t go away when I wake up tomorrow, then it’s definitely something more than a migraine. Which is even worse, cause again, I’m still young. I just can’t deal with this right now, especially when I haven’t even achieved something yet. I don’t deserve this kind of situation where I’m beginning to feel a physical limit. That just can’t be the case for me. That’s unfair.

I went to SM San Lazaro today to buy some art materials. Bought some sand paper and some soft pastels. The soft pastels, I shouldn’t have bought. Because they don’t stick on the sand paper. It completely comes off once I brush over it. Waste of fucking money, that is.

Also, the sand paper caused my pointer finger to get burnt. I used it to rub through the pastel in order to blend the different colors. But afterwards, the skin where the fingerprint should be became thin, and now I just feel a tinge of pain whenever my pointer finger touches a key when I type.

I just had to learn it the hard way, didn’t I?

I posted a new video last Sunday, about the questionable art piece of veteran actor Richard Gomez. It’s gaining more views than I anticipated in such a fast pace. But then again, the timing was just correct for the context within that video. That would explain people’s interest in it.

People have their opinions. I didn’t really share mine in the video, nor elaborated on the topic. I just kept it neutral, and showed that I went to that Art Gallery event. Because I feel like if I had gone through the process of sharing my thoughts on the art piece, people might take it the wrong way, even if my opinion ended up being the best opinion out there, and that it touches on the right principles or whatever, there would definitely still be people out there, on the internet, who would see that opinion of mine, and just ruin my career with that one single opinion, by telling their own opinions, and calling me an idiot or whatever, asking me how my opinion matters.

Such and such things. Bla bla bla. It was a risk I didn’t want to take. So I didn’t take it. Though people are still free to share their opinions in the comment section. But it’s not really an ideal point of discussion at all. The best we can do is move on from it. Let it fade in to the background.

And maybe search for the next new viral issue.

It’s weird, cause I just watched Casey Neistat’s 21,000 dollar airplane seat video from a couple years ago, and also the vlog he made explaining how that video went viral in less than a few days. The timing of me reaching that part of his daily vlog, and my own situation where I do a video, that may or may not go viral within the next few days, is beyond my comprehension. Serendipity, I guess.

In other news, I’ve actually been writing some stuff regarding the new books that I’ve bought, especially last Saturday. I’m debating on whether I should put it here or if I should keep that part secret, cause I dunno, it’s part of a bigger picture project that I’m doing. I think I’ve mentioned this one before. It’s related to the “Thousand Books” project that I talked about maybe a few entries ago.

Yeah, I’m probably not gonna post those stories here. Though I might change my mind in the future. We’ll see.

I’ve also been preoccupied with daydreaming about a certain new idea that has popped in my head. I wouldn’t really consider it a new idea. It’s been in my head for quite a few years now. But I haven’t been thinking about it for a while now. It was only back in Sunday, I think, when I started thinking about it again.

What if I go back to just using my phone’s camera as my main vlog camera? That was the idea, or the question that popped in my head. I found it quite interesting, because it makes sense for me to do that since I’ve been quite stuck on trying to use my DSLR camera for my main vlogging camera instead of using my phone.

I used to only shoot my videos on my phone, since that was the only equipment that I had at the time. But when I got my first DSLR camera, things sort of went the other way. I mean, I was excited to use it for my stuff. But when I realized that it’s hard to record myself when I can’t see my own framing, it became apparent that my DSLR camera (that doesn’t have a flip-monitor) was not the ideal equipment to use for shooting my videos.

So I developed this idea of going back to my roots. To only shoot my videos using my phone, plus editing those videos with Power Director. But this time, I would purchase the 1-month Premium access for the Power Director app. So that my videos don’t have the watermark on it.

And to completely get my money’s worth, I would post a video, a vlog, every single day. For a month (30 days).

That was the idea. Not gonna do it just yet. Maybe once I graduate.

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